The Astounding Travel Adventures of a Miraculous Fellow

Adios Amigos
June 14, 2008, 10:42 pm
Filed under: The Salvador


Well, the time has come for me to leave the comforts of home and the USofA.  


Off to El Salvador I go.


You’re probably thinking: “El Salvador?  Kiss your powerful, muscular, shapely gringo ass goodbye!”  Well, I’m heading there in a full-body Kevlar suit, armed to the teeth, so I should be fine for, at the very least, 45 seconds.


I’m heading out to a remote little village in southeastern El Salvador (which roughly translates to “The Salvador”) for four months to teach English and computer skills to whoever will listen (which will probably end up being my kidnappers who are yearning to be able to relate to their victims a little better).  Pretty much the only way I’ll be able to keep in contact will be through email or through your local Salvadoran drug runner.  But, emails may be infrequent so if you don’t hear from me for awhile, don’t: 1) feel bad, 2) become disconsolate, and 3) do something drastic like hurl yourself in front of the nearest passing Geo Metro, thereby severely twisting your ankle.  Furthermore, if you don’t hear from me, please don’t fly down to The Salvador looking for me, as I should be in the busy in the process of becoming the new benevolent, yet formidable, blond haired dictator, El Guapo Fuerte.


Oh, before I forget, if anyone needs a Salvadoran wife, all I need is 48 postage stamps, a plastic bottle of whiskey, and a burlap sack.  I’ll take care of the rest.  Oh yeah, and a plane ticket for your new wife, plus a promise to love and cherish her until her heart is content…yada yada yada.


Um…where was I?  Oh yeah, adios muchachos!  Have a swell summer! 




See you on the other side.  Godspeed.


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